Step Two: The First Step Is Admitting You Have Medical Bills

I did not announce Step Two in the Get Back To Yourself Plan of 2010, which almost rhymes...almost - but alas, and forgive my familiar phraseology":

The first step in paying your medical bills, is to admit that you have medical bills.

So I spent most of the morning organizing them, and then, and I can say it- PAYING THEM. I realized something funny. If you get in the right mindset, it can be just as empowering to realize that you can pay your medical bills, as it is to, say, hoard your money in your savings and, say, avoiding paying your medical bills. That and some healthy acting skills and what we, in the theatre, call subtext:

That's not coinsurance for an out-of-state CT of... every part of my body....that's a new pair of boots . . .

The checks write themselves much easier this way.

Other than that, ear update: Last night around 2, still awake because I didn't take my sleeping pill because I was still praying that the Benadryl angels would work their powers over my ears, I had a horrible pain in my head and for about five minutes fearing moving, and then went to the bathroom to make sure both sides of my face smiled. They did, phew. (this might sound funny but it is also true).

I awoke to less ear pain, but ear pain nonetheless. I avoided calling the docs and finally, after advice from CysticLady, decided to split the difference between calling and not calling, and email them. My doctor didn't seem highly concerned, and so, since I was mostly thinking this was a freak accident, and reading on CysticLife that all my homies thought maybe it was some sort of migraine, I decided, bah, let it go unless it gets worse/comes back and then off to the PCP I go.

I avoid my PCP at all costs. See this post for elaboration. He seems perpetually annoyed that I am his patient, and considering the annoyance that would go into switching PCPs while on two transplant lists (holy referral nightmare and insurance claim denail, batman!, for cry yie)- I decided to keep him and maybe teach him to buck up and accept some patients with more than asthma and an ear ache.

Oh wait, I have those too.

Ok- goodnight from me and Beckaroo. I leave you with this random image, inspired by Ronnie's random image blog today.

Step One: complete

I. Went. To . . .

The grocery store.

It was uneventful. I took a video. I did use some alternative item procurement methods to avoid pulling my concentrator AND a cart, or lifting those baskets that are so awkward and spilltastic anyway, or having to hoist my concentrator into the cart....

I digress..

The trip was uneventful until I got to the checkout and realized that in my plans to travel light, I left my wallet in the car. Quelle emberassement! I had to go out and get it while the woman waited, but she did not seem bothered. I also noticed a helpful worker helping a woman in a wheelchair with very limited mobility do her shop, and I thought, heh, if I had a big shop maybe, just maybe, I could ask a helpful worker to help me, too.

In other news, tonight my ears blew up with pain that I have never had before, even with 10 years of swimming and lifeguarding. Owwie patowwie. I take back anything I might have previously cynically written regarding ear aches with the phrase "quit your bitchin.'" I'm not sure I ever wrote anything to this affect, but I would like to cover my bases in humble apology to the Ear Ache Goddess in hopes that she will forgive me by way of her angel Benadryl, by morning.

I also mourn the loss of an actor that I met a few times, never really knew, who certainly didn't know me, Guy Adkins, who nonetheless inspired me as a professional and artist. After his passing, I read that he has left inspiration for many, and indeed for me, in his battle against his disease (not CF). Rest easy, dance freely, sing loudly, Guy.

Goodnight,
cg