This Weekend Rocked My Socks

Top Ten Reasons The Weekend Rocked My Socks
in no particular order.

1. Surprise visit from one of my best buddies in the whole wide world!

2. Re-watching a wonderful though dark dark movie, followed by great discussion.

3. "Bethenny Getting Married" is the best show on t.v. I made my male buddy watch this show and was hoping for a funnier sample episode, as though it was physically possible to get him watching this show of his own free will. Ah well, it wasn't funny, but he endured THE wedding episode and I thoroughly enjoyed it. He, at the very minimum, pretended to enjoy it, and this was satisfactory for all parties. Side note: I had to watch that Lebron James shit-show DECISION and nearly cried over those poor kids at the Boys and Girls Club who were totally played out by that a-hole on live tv. Who keeps kids out on a weeknight to tell them bad news and make them cry? Poor, poor taste. And Lebron, you're not all that. I didn't even know you're name before this weekend. Bethenny Frankel would never have pulled a stunt so cruel. 2 points for Bethenny. I hope those kids cried or said mean things to "the King" for his a-holiness.

Back to the list . . . of Top Ten Reasons This Weekend Rocked My Socks . . .

4. Thai. Food. With. Leftovers.

5. Peapod delivery prior to my pal's arrival provided the peace that only a full fridge of pudding cups, avocados, cheese and cheese-related products, and an entire corner of my kitchen I call "the beverage center" full of all sorts of hydration for my salty bod- made for a wonderful tumyurful time.

6. Have I yet mentioned NY Deli Pizza in my neighborhood that is so very very very college-style cheap, and yet so very very very Boston-style yummy Italian food? 'nuf said.

7. Houseguests + Open Refusal to actually cook for them = Sweet Relief.

8. Helped work on the draft of play that woke up my director brain and my playwright brain.

9. Took some advice from CFFatBoy and explored a new webhosting service, and now think about moving my "real" yet unlaunched website over to it! Oh yeah, and got my second official web client!

10. Seeing the people you love : Best ever.

11. BONUS: Managed to do all my meds, take my bipap naps, and get plenty of sleepy time sleep.

Oh no wait. One day, I forgot my bipap nap but that was because of the uninteresting transplant appointment I had to attend all afternoon, and also forgot, on the same day, to drink my afternoon cup of coffee- HEADACHE CITY. Thank goodness for my bipap. To bed for me! Both then, and now!

12. DOUBLE BONUS SHOUT-OUT: Extra doting by B-Kitty who has taken a new dislike to visitors. GTFO, she meowed. She spent today reclaiming all "infected" furniture and generally meowing in my face. Oh wait, the second part of that is not really news.

13. NEWSINESS: My shirts arrived!!!! Or shall I say, YOUR shirts arrived! The luck keeps coming. Every day, a lucky thing so far.

g'night! party hard. sleep it off.
cg

There's Always Tomorrow

Today was not that much better than yesterday. But it was better.

Things that made it better:

1)I called the CF Clinic and said, Hey man, this thing where I have to take 1/2 of my anti-depressant because of it's contraindication with my oral antibiotic is, like, uh, not working. Since I'm crying and sleeping all day and stuff. So we agreed that after these 3 weeks, I can go back to the antidepressant at full blast and stop taking that particular antibiotic (1 of the 3 I'm on currently).

2) I called my friends back (T-Money and H-Mama). Both called me yesterday and though I have to admit, I didn't really enjoy talking to them since I was all doomy and gloomy, it was better that I talked to them. Ditto for CysticMommy and CysticLady.

2.5) I still took a nap. I decided that no day is so bad, or so good, that taking a nap cannot indeed make the day even better. KEY: I limited my nap to a decent 2 hours. A normal-people-nap. I even answered my phone when N-Pregg called from clinic. I was not in the DOOM NAP. I was in a normal sleepy nap.

3) I had dinner with T-Money, H-Mama, J-Frusb, J-Baby and M-blankie. Nothing to brighten the mood like meeting a friend's new cat and holding a friend's baby, who officially learned what an "owwie" was by pointing at my port site. I even think I heard her say "All wrapped up!" back to me as I explained it to her. That J-Baby, she's a J-Genius. I also used my crazy cat lady skillz to coax M-blankie out from under the bed.

4) I outted my blog onto my facebook so now my blog is officially out of the closet. Everyone in my life can read the juice details of this health conundrum I'm in. "And F 'em if they can't take a joke" about some of the posts for chriy-yie.

5) I made dinner plan with a certain gentleman tomorrow for Jazz music, O2 sniffing and yummy food. It is certain to be the best non-date I've had in awhile. (Though I'll miss J-Teach, who is out of town).

In closing of tonight's post:

To Feel Better When You Are Extremely Gloom and Doom (EGD):

1. Do not pretend you are over the gloom or the doom (OGD) until indeed you are OGD.

2. Communicate with your docs when you are feeling EGD. Ask yourself, "Are there any chemical reasons that I am EGD?" Things that can lead to EGD: changes to psych meds (duh); pain meds; low O2; hormonal changes (either pharmaceutical or natural); alcohol use; low blood pressure; nutrition problems; blood sugar problems; etc. Adjust what you can with your doc's approval if you sense a problem.

3. Call back at least 1/2 of the people that call you (let's be realistic here.) See #1. It is very important to remember #1 when you do #2 or you will have to revert to yesterday's post altogether.

4. Call back family members and still adhere to #1 unless indeed you are OGD.

5. Take a reasonable length nap. There is never a day so good, nor so bad, that a nap cannot make it infinitely better.

6. Create a specific plan to be around another human, any human, and consume foods. If pets and babies can be involved, all the better. Pets nor babies are capable of EGD, and being around them increases the chances of one becoming OGD at a faster rate.

7. Be more honest with more people about your feelings. This is a good non-EGD rule as well.

8. Make some special plans for some special sort of something to happen at a future time, so that you will look forward to it and have a goal to be OGD by that time.

Goodnight and a non-EGD day to you,
CG

Another Big Win for the CG Breakfast

Thank you, Reeses Pieces and String Cheese.
Though others may judge you, I never will.
For though your taste combination seems odd,
You have given me 5 extra pounds
In only one week
While out of the hospital.

Dear Dr. U-Bird^

Dear Dr. U-Bird, Dr. B-Bird, and even Dr. G-Bird,

If there were a Cinnabon in Boston, I'd be fatter.

Next study to fund: A Cinnabon a day keeps the Ensures away. Look into it.

Love, Cystic Gal

PS. More tomorrow, loyal readers. I'm tired after a day back in the rehearsal room!! And my voice is tired, too! Plus, just started back on TOBI 2x day, which is not great for the chords. They're stripped down from all the talkin and the inhalin' and the chem chem chemicals going over 'em.

To gargle, to sleep, to dream, to wake, to teach.

Dramatic enough for you?
cg

If I had a dollar for every time I ate Reese's Pieces for Breakfast . . .

NEWSFLASH!
*A slow day for CG*
**Please enroll to receive CG via email if you don't want to check the site,
but want to read my musings daily!**
***SEE THE TOP LEFT COLUMN!***
******************************************************
If I had a dollar for every time I ate Reese's Pieces for Breakfast . . .

. . . I'd spend each dollar on a little baggie of Reese's Pieces, and call them lunch on the very same day.

TOP TEN THINGS I LIKE TO EAT
TO ADD SOME CALORIES
OR JUST TO EAT
WHEN I DON'T REALLY WANT TO EAT

1) Reese's Pieces (first choice); Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (second choice)

2) Apple Chips

3) Peanut Butter itself, on a spoon

4) Mashed potatoes with/without butter, cheese, sour cream, bacon

5) Surf and Turf presented by a handsome waiter/tress. Er. . . Anything presented by a handsome waiter/tress

6) An avocado and/or gaucamole with/without lime tortilla chips

7) Frozen "Strawberry Shortcake" Dean's Ice Cream Food

8) Corn Dogs

9) String Cheese or a piece of cheese. Or "cheese flavored dipping sauce" (though I don't know what it is 'really' made of), with something to dip into it (like fries).

10) Cottage Cheese and Pineapples

Tonight I am tired, and so,
To bed!

CG

P.S.

Upcoming in CG: Follow up regarding yesterday's post on "Anger: Tell Me How You Really Feel." Note: I do currently trust my CF Clinic staff, I think, as much as I am capable of trusting medical professionals. I am not looking to change clinics right now. I think that would make my "issues" worse. But I welcome tons of suggestions, so keep 'em coming, people.

But . . . more on that topic another night. Tonight, sleeeeeeep.

Valium: A Med That Makes My Day (or night)

NEWSFLASH! CYSTIC GAL READERSHIP UP 900%*
* Since Day One

Ok ok ok. Most people probably wouldn't want to write on the internet that they take valium. But that is one of the great things about this mostly anonymous blog, heh? I planned to publish tonight's blog about anger, in response to KR's response below. Then . . .

I had a reallly bad day today. I slept til Noon for no real reason and missed one of my meds. Recently I took an internet quiz and in response to "Last time you slept in late, what was the reason?" my response was "Could not muster will to live."

This, indeed, seemed to be my reason this morning. Also, it's been freakishly cold out. It's hard to get out of bed when it's cold out! I did not get out of the house until about 5pm. Problem? I didn't have anything to do. I did not have one single place to go. I drove around ruining the planet until it hit me :

Surf and Turf.

What I needed to perk up the day was a piece of meat next to some fish next to some mashed potatoes. And a pal. A few phone calls later and Ta Da! I have a pal to accompany me. T-Money^, in fact. We had a lovely meal together and I'm driving home, wind in my hair, looking forward to getting my PICC line out tomorrow. YAY! Freedom! Long hot showers, short sleeve shirts, and unencumbered make outs with my sweetie, here I come! This fantasy builds and builds (truthfully, mostly the shower part) and I drive along home . . .pull in the driveway. . . .reach my porch and see . . .

Two huge boxes from the home health company. I knew instantly what they were: a week of medicine for my little teeny tiny veins :( And, well, I freaked out. As my friend K-Ed^ would say, I flipped my shit. Thank goodness for me, I have a sister! That's right, CG users at large, I'm revealing some personal info. I have a sister, also a cystic gal herself! She talked me down from the mountain of feelings I experienced by asking me one simple question: What's the worst thing that could happen here? And you know what, I had all the answers:)

Unfortunately for me, I also had a high heart rate and had worked up a sweat and some tears. So I turned to my old sleepytime pal, Valium. He's always there for me and frankly, I wish I had met him earlier in my life. I have had anxiety since I was a little kid, and worked through it for years and years much to the torment of my friends and immediate family. I never took meds for my anxiety until about 3 years ago, and they have been life-changing. Now I can do some things I couldn't do before:

Sleep; Wake; Think Clearly When Obstacles Arise; Make Big Decisions; Not Cry For Days At a Time; Not Break Stuff.

This was not always true!! Ok, more later. The thing about valium is, it makes you sleeeeeeepy!!