"If I Were In Charge of the World"

When I was eight, my mom bought me a book for my birthday called If I Were in Charge of the World (and other worries). It was a children's poetry book that I still have. She wrote "To my little girl, who worries so much," and she put a heart sticker on the inside, too.

My mom called me tonight and reminded me that I have always been a person who gets most stressed when I have too much free time, or when my schedule is unpredictable. I have always been this way, since I was very young.

I remember that when I was a kid, I would also look at the calendar in the kitchen to figure out when summer would be over, because I actually did not like summertime that much.

This makes me wonder if we ever really change our ways.

This weekend, I had to surprise and wonderful evenings. The first night, I went to Thai food with my dear friend and then we went to a bar near the Symphony and might have secretly made fun of Symphony people. Secretly. The second night, I went out for Italian food with another friend, and then we went to the grocery store: my favorite thing!

Sidenote: Going to the grocery store or CVS on a weekend night, the later the better, is my favorite thing because the store is usually waaaay less crowded and you feel like some sort of domestic goddess or saint just being in the place. And weird things happen, like tonight, a man sliced up a mango for me to eat. LOVELY!


I also slept 'til at least noon today. YAY.

So I wonder, if I work really hard, I'll even admit - I work too hard - due to my bizarre obsessive work ethic and also my apparent duel career - am I able to balance this by resting "hard?" At my core, I am a poor mult-tasker. I like to work on one thing or aspect with complete dedication, and focus on nothing else. If I am "relaxing," I also like to do that fully.

Today I accomplished...nothing. One load of laundry but ... otherwise, nothing. Isn't that good? Or is it bad?

My mom said, "I just think you have a system that makes your life work and if you don't get to keep that system, then none of it works." Perhaps she is right.

Hmm. These are my random thoughts about making life work. Thanks, mommy!