Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Guest Blog by CysticLady: CF and Relationships Part II
Let me thank you for the nice comments on my first guest blog on Cystic Gal. I am also grateful to be able to have a forum to share these experiences.
As such, I thought I'd write a follow-up. There is another side to this story. I will attempt to tell my version of it without using too many cliche's, but it may be hard because love is the most written and talked about topic in the history of the world.
Love is a wonderful part of life. I think I can go so far as to say, it is the reason for life. It is indeed a real shame to go through such lengths as a lung transplant to continue living, to then deny yourself the chance for love. The same way that I weighed the risks vs. rewards of a lung transplant, is the way that I have to weigh the risks vs. rewards of love.
I have said before that I'd do everything again, the whole year of dying, the surgery, the recovery, for just one of those days after transplant that I didn't have to think about breathing. Not even a special day, just a day when I get up, go about the day, perhaps dart to my car in a rain storm. Then to sit at the end of the day and realize that not once I was fearful of being out of breath, of having to stop and check my sats, or bend over in a coughing fit. I chose to have a lung transplant with the full knowledge that it would not be a cure that lasts forever. I chose it knowing that everyday would not be perfect, that in fact, some days would be awful. I've had those awful days, months, even. Still, I am happy.
What I didn't share in my post last night was that I have a new boyfriend, a brand new shiny one. With a lot of apprehension, I forwarded last night's post to him. He called in the early morning, and, he's in. I was speechless. I was scared. A few minutes later, I was relieved. I believe him. He is wonderful.
It may not last forever, and everyday will not be perfect, but I'm going for it.
In other news, CysticGal is doing better today. She is a bit stoned due to a huge increase in her Marinol. She has her first ABG ever tomorrow morning, so wish her luck.