Friday, June 19, 2009

Eminem: The Soundtrack of American Medicine AND good for lung capacity?*

A Humorous Look at Music, Medicine and Michael Phelps

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I know what you're thinking: Cystic Gal, what the h are you talking about? Em-in-em? What does a white rapper have to do with Cystic Fibrosis? Stay on message, CG. Stay on message.

One of the many things I have learned in the past two years, while tackling my fear of doctors (see future posts) (oh wait, you can't see the future, you can only see the past posts) (oh . . . CG scratches forehead, pondering . . .) . . .

One of the things I have learned in the past two years is that it helps me to detach myself from the medical experience as much as possible so that I can think clearly while experiencing it. I was told that these things could help: "trashy magazines" (i.e. ones that cover "Jon and Kate Plus 8," not ones with multiple x's in the titles); I-Pod tunage; texting my pals; Valium (see prior posts! There we go!); bring an IRL in real life pal; etc. Today I will cover the best one of these tactics found so far:

Medical I-Pod Tunage: CG's Advice

The key to finding a soundtrack for your personal medical experience is to name at least three emotional states that you commonly experience in the medical environment. Are you sad? Are you confused? Are you angry? Are you a smartie pants? Are you nervous?

Narrowing down your complex emotions may be the hardest part. After that, finding some sounds that match is pretty easy. Which brings me, your CG, to Eminem.

There is something about Eminem and his self-loathing yet self-aggrandizing adolescent bullshittery, set to the backdrop (usually) of both a serious bass sound and an 80's style electric guitar, that really suits my CF clinic experience. All this with rhyming and the occasional random country singer guest spot that none of us clearly understand.

Other musicians that do it for me: Guns N Roses; Greenday; The All-American Rejects; Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (actually, any Tom Petty time period); Pink, Snow Patrol; MGMT; Death Cab For Cutie; L'il Wayne

My sister, Cystic Lady, became particularly fond of Eminem herself during her transplant experience in 2003. She would listen to Eminem at pulmonary rehab, in the car to and fro, and around the house. She would listen to him so much that my own mother, who otherwise prefers Fleetwood Mac, now admits that she misses her Eminem days with my sister.

To summarize, in my brief blog-research and IRL experiences, I have come to know that Eminem is a common IPod favorite of transplant patients and Michael Phelps. What do we learn from this? Obviously, it only takes a little bit of simple math to prove an important, inspiring truth.

Michael Phelps = Freakishly Large Lung Capacity
Michael Phelps = Love for Eminem
Love for Eminem = Good for Lung Capacity*

I'm no mathematician, but the facts are the facts people.
Be well, CG

Tomorrow's Topic: CG's Mission: A Work in Progress

*Obviously, I totally made this shit up people.


  1. The phrase "self-loathing yet self-aggrandizing adolescent bullshittery" as applied to the bizarre appeal of Eminem = pure genius.

  2. LOVE it and totally agree!! M can quote Em like most of us quote our ABC's


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