I Still Haven't Found What I'm Lookin' For?

From The Road:

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I accomplished a lot on this trip, on the one hand: I spent a lot of time with my brother, CSibling; I spent a lot of time with my sweetie; I spent lots of time with my best friends including L-VIPie,^ and A-Dramie,^ as well as a lot of other older friends in my hometown.

On the other hand, I did not accomplish a major goal of my trip, and in this failure I realized one important thing: I hate talking about my health. Ironic, isn't it? I started this nightly blog about my health (and lack of) and its affect on my life, but in person, IRL, as they say, I hate it when the topic comes up and I hate EVEN WORSE bringing the topic up myself. When I started off on this road trip I had this idealistic fantasy of having frank, open discussions with CSibling, sweetie, L-VIPie and A-Dramie. I wanted to spend some time discussing where my health is currently and that I might be considering transplant in the next year or so if my health continues to decline at the same rate it has in the last year.

Instead, I avoided the topic most of the time, per usual, and even changed the subject the few times it came up. So, GREAT. Most of the time, I was having a lot of fun, or felt that I was about to have a lot of fun in a situation, and really didn't want to pause/ruin the impending fun with a big discussion that would surely upset me more than my discussion-mates.

Clearly, I was also experiencing a lot of stress on this trip because I had really bad dreams last night, which I will leave to be the subject of another blog post . . . More on THIS topic in the future as well, as I end one of my last from-the-road posts.

I hope to return home tomorrow, but we'll see. . . I still have a long way to go and I'm committed to resting and not hurrying a bit on this trip.

Love To All!
CG