Sunday, June 14, 2009

You Gotta Know When to Hold 'Em


Ok, I really really really didn't want my first blog on here to be a rant. But here goes.

I'll begin by employing the Letterman Method:


Top Ten Reasons that Asthma and CF Comparisons Annoy Me

[This post was posted, then removed, then posted, then removed, and it's ba-ack, by popular request. It's not a great attribute to our current culture that we like the negative emotions more than the positive ones, but it is an attribute. It is. You ask, you receive. The original Asthma Rant. Love, CG
]

“You Gotta Know When To Hold ‘Em”

(between an Asthma pal and a CF pal today on the phone)
(also last week and the week before that)

(also many times over my lifespan with other Asthma pals)

10. Asthma kills very few of the people that have it (3), while virtually everyone who has CF will die from it or from complications resulting from it, whether pre or post transplant (3, FORTHCOMING).

9. 20 Million people in the U.S. have asthma(1). Boy- that's a lot! That's 400,000 or so in each state! Approximately 30,000 people in the US have CF (2). Asthma, though challenging, is relatively common. Commonly experienced. Commonly discussed. Commonly understood. CF is none of those things.

8. Asthma-like symptoms are only one component of CF. Hearing comparisons of someones last asthma attack to my Teeny Tiny lung capacity is like hearing somebody tell me about the morning after a bad burrito in comparison to my nutritional issues.

7. When CFers share that they're having a hard time, like other people that have a hard time, they just want someone to listen, not make constant comparisons. Recently my friend T-Money^ literally sliced part of her finger off in a freak moving/unpacking incident. When she called me to go to the ER with her, did I regale her of the time I cut my hand opening a string cheese when I was ten, interjecting, "I know JUST HOW YOU FEEL," over and over again? No, I said, "I'll be right over. Which hospital?"

6. Not for nothing, but your meds don't compare to my meds. Get over yourself.

5. Since you go to ER to get a "z-pack" and a nebulizer treatment, I guess I'll have to start referring to my house as the Emergency Room and my couch as "Curtain 3." I guess that would also make my cat B-Kitty^ a resident, while S-Purry^ would be the nurse. And I'll need to get some carbon paper intake papers for the front door and some of those "no inferme" signs to ward off the swine flu.

4. The conversation ends with YOU saying, "Okay, I gotta run to the gym and the grocery store and I have a party tonight but maybe I could stop by sometime next week...oh I'm not sure, I've been really busy and my asthma's really keepin' me down." I can totally tell.

3. It is somehow impossible for me to get out of this conversation without sounding like a biotch.

2. I adore looking back on the days of my early early childhood when questioned about my health I could pass off my illness as asthma and kids would shrug and say, "Oh, my brother has asthma" and continue to invite me over. By fifth grade the question changed to "What's wrong with you?" and my asthma excuse was gone baby gone. Also many playdates.

1. I can't go to the regular gym because my o2 tank doesn't last long enough. So thanks for braggin' about that particular errand.

Footnotes:
*I am the CF pal
^Pseudonyms
(1) Available http://www.aafa.org/display.cfm?id=8 06/15/2009.
(2) Available http://cff.org 06/15/2009
(3) _Trends in Asthma Morbidity and Mortality_. American Lung Association, Epidemiology and Statistics Unit, Research and Program Services Division. January 2009. Available http://www.lungusa.org/ 06/18/2009

Okokokok. I really didn't want to start on a rant, but there it is.

With actual love, because I do love my Asthma pals,
CG



Footnotes:
*I am the CF pal
^Pseudonyms
(1) Available http://www.aafa.org/display.cfm?id=8 06/15/2009.
(2) Available http://cff.org 06/15/2009
(3) _Trends in Asthma Morbidity and Mortality_. American Lung Association, Epidemiology and Statistics Unit, Research and Program Services Division. January 2009. Available http://www.lungusa.org/ 06/18/2009

Okokokok
. I really didn't want to start on a rant, but there it is.

With actual love, because I do love my Asthma pals,
CG

4 comments:

  1. Amen!

    Thanks for the blog comment and I will be following you wohoo!!! I love making new bloggie friends :)

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  2. So glad you're doing this. Already, the candor and the humor remind me of another of my fave illness blogs, Cancer Bitch, which you might find ineresting and which is over here: http://cancerbitch.blogspot.com/

    Excited to follow you!

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  3. Hey, Cystic Gal! Your Blog is excellent and funny and colorful just like you. I will link to you when I blog again because you are not bullshitting around here. To be honest the asthma comparisons have me totally floored like are we all that stupid? Anyhoo, I have a cheesy magnet somewhere that says "you say I'm a bitch like that's a bad thing." Keep bitching! xoLucy

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  4. You tell em girl! Impressive first blog post. Had me shaking my head AND laughing.

    Ronnie

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will be posted ! -CG