Saturday, June 27, 2009

My Lungs Aren't On My Face

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This will be a very short post but I must certainly reserve my CG rights to use that title again when I develop this thought further. "My Lungs Aren't On My Face," has become one of my favorite things to say lately. I always get a laugh for it, and the reason I get a chance to say it so much is, in short, I have had a really really bad year. Almost every person I see says to me, "But you look great!" which is a great complement, and I'm happy to take it. And I DO, indeed, look really great! :)

Ironically, however, I'm having the hardest time with how this disease is now affecting my day-to-day doings and wondering if it wouldn't in some way be easier for me if I actually looked sicker right now? Maybe then I would have an easier time remembering to take better care of myself as the day goes on, and maybe the people in my life wouldn't be so confused about how I am making my decisions differently lately.

Ugh. A big topic to bring up before bed, but just like the writing above, I have to go to bed and try not to worry too much if you guys understand why or not- I'll have to explain it more tomorrow. Goodnight!

With love,
CG

6 comments:

  1. Reminds me of why young women are said to cut themselves in high school, so their internal pain (not physical in their context, I know) will show on the surface: so they'll have a physical reminder of the emotional. I am so moved by this because it speaks to all of our need for external pushing/validation/reminding. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, we all need to scream at you online, you are too precious not to.

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  2. I love that line! I appreciate the fact that I might not look like crap but it doesn't change the way I feel sometimes. But thanks.

    My favorite moment was when I was on the elevator at work. I was coughing (not even bad, mind you) and the person I was on the elevator asked me "how long have you had that cough?" Since the door was opening on my exit, I just looked at her and dead-panned, "about 30 years."

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  3. I've said that too, Brandi!! Very funny!! I also like to say, "I've had pneumonia since 1986." haha.

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  4. That is an awesome line!!!!!!!!!!!! I may need to borrow it sometime haha!!!!!

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  5. I think it is funny that after all the emphasis on women trying to get men to look at their face rather than their chest, you are saying, "Look at my chest." :P cl

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  6. cl, as you know me personally, i believe you understand that I am always interested in people looking at my chest. -CG

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