Happy Father's Day

Top Ten Reasons that Cystic Dad is Awesome

1. He is awesome. He expresses his awesomeness in the categories of holiday preparedness; matching outfit procurement; music listening and procurement; gadget buying; and general hilarity.

2. He has good taste in music, if we can overlook the whole Jimmy Buffett phase he went through from 1998-2008. He plays music all the time.

3. He is a fun guy, and a funny guy. He is very social, and likes to hear and tell funny stories, which brings me to number . . .

4. He tells a good story. Not in that boring way that a lot of Dad's tell the same stories over and over. He tells good stories and if they are repeats, they haven't been repeated in years so they're good to hear.

5. He is a very loyal person to family and friends. My dad is like the mafia. Once you're in, you're in.

6. He wins lawn mower races. Well, he won ONE lawn mower race.

7. He competes in lawn mower races, even though he might lose. He is a great loser.

8. He gives good advice, and is a good decision-maker, action-taker in a crisis. He reads lots of those stupid books like "The 6 minute millionaire," and "The Four Hour
Work Week," and shares their nuggets of wisdom. He also is the guy to call or text when the s*** goes down. He will be like, "Okay, we'll make a plan here and I will call you back. We got this."- This is true if you're about to be homeless or you cut your foot off in a freak potato sack race incident. He rolls with the punches, and has a lot of experience in the punch department.

9. He has stories that will scare you, for life, away from fireworks, motorcycles, dangerous driving, trains and train tracks, riding a bike with sandals on, swimming while drinking, or swimming alone. It took me and Cystic Lady a few adult years to piece together our shared fear of these activities, but we think we have the idea. One way to keep your kids safe from random acts of danger: tell them horrifying true stories at as early of an age as they can contemplate said dangerous behaviors.

10.  He knows how to take a good nap, and instilled great napping values in his children. Some people think of adults taking naps as a sign of laziness, or influenza. Not my dad. A nap is just what we would call, "Two O'Clock" in the Cystic Family.

BONUS! # 11. He is chivalrous. He and my brother have spoiled Cystic Mommy, Lady and myself to believe that we are physically incapable of mowing lawns, shoveling snow, taking out garbage, lifting or carrying of any sort, walking too far from a parking spot, -- and that generally if we stand around looking sorta helpless, someone will do something for us. I think this is a good thing but I sometimes wonder if CysticLady actually walks into doors that aren't opened for her in a timely fashion. I've never seen her with a broken nose, but . . . I'm still not convinced.