Friday, May 28, 2010

Cliff, Put Down That Hoagie!

You might be wondering, right about now - What does CG have to do with HH (Dr. Heathcliff Huxtible)? Well, I'll tell you. "Cliff," as we all know him, from The Cosby Show, had high blood pressure. His wife Claire, played by Phylicia Rashad (sp?), was the mighty police woman of all activities related to keeping his blood pressure down.

Poor HH was forced by Claire to avoid the following activities because of his high bp:

1) Eating Hoagies (as seen above)
2) Competing in his college alumni basketball game
3) Dealing with his daughter Sandra's husband, Eldon
4) Seeing his daughter, Vanessa, practice her "dance routine" with her "dance group" in their outfits *no image available.
5) Playing a rousing game of plattonk with his out-of-town friend.
6) Watching horror movies on halloween with his daughter, Rudy.
7) Watching cowboy movies where people get shot a lot.

Now, realizing that I don't really like hoagies and actually, salt is not a factor in my bp, considering the salt problems we CFers have, (Dr. U has asked me like a million times, "So you don't crave salt?!" and I'm like, "No! I'm sorry! Jeebers.")--I digress. So, I don't like hoagies, I don't play basketball, I don't have a daughter with a mysoginist husband or another daughter who dances to "the locomotion" in spandex, and I don't even know what country plattonk is from though I must say it looks like a mix of botchi ball and bowling, and because I am ascared of horror movies and bored by most cowboy movies ... you would think I would have no problem keeping my bp down.

But alas no!

The problem with my bp is not so much it, as that I when my bp is up, I get hemoptysis. Or perhaps vice versa. We will never know. The following things make my bp go up and I must avoid them at all costs:

1) Talking on the phone with [undisclosed party who can suck it.]
2) Pure cardio without proper warm up.
3) Cleaning my house (true, also a valid excuse for not keeping the place shiny and super)
4) Going to the doctor (this remains a conflict of interest and there is always a great bp debate when bp is at the doctor)
5) Talking to much about money, insurance, politics, the past, the future, or the present. :)

So, you know, I really have to avoid a lot of topics.

Actually, in all seriousness, I am realizing that seeking the no-stress lifestyle is a full time job, requires much sleeping late, exercise (gentle exercise), much eating, napping, laughing, music, carefully planned companionship, and a supportive group of family and friends. Thank goodness I have all these things I need! I am very blessed.

On that note, I leave you this bit of comedy, and two important links:




  1. What a classic! I used to watch that show on Nick at Night all the time! :)

  2. Elvin...his name was Elvin! And patonk (don't even think it's spelled that way) is a French game and yes, much like bocche. And Nick at Night...sheesh! OK, I'm done commenting now.


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