Recently, I was reading this post by the famous Natalia, from Canada, who prepared for and received her lung transplant while awaiting the birth of her daughter via surrogate. She hasn't written in a few months and thought that perhaps she would give up her blog altogether. Here is her posting:
regarding her feelings after transplant. In this post, she articulates a lot of the fears and anxieties that I have about the post-transplant experience. With the wonderful health and exuberant joy of breathing and living, comes a huge psychological shift that is hard to explain- but she does it very well.
Here is the response I wrote to her:
Cystic Gal said... Thank you, again, for writing this. I am closer now than ever to my transplant, and know that though I have been preparing in every way possible, that in a way, I might have a huge identity crisis after. It's weird, but in the morning when I cough my brains out, all I can think during and after is, I'm not going to have to do this forever. But then, in the next second, I wonder what it would even be like to wake up and do all the normal activities without the stop and start physically, emotionally, spiritually. Most of what I do right now is nurse myself into one activity, then rest, then another activity. What will I do when I can just BE? It is strange to think about, but glad I am getting to read your experience and others to help me prepare.
I don't think anyone can really understand unless they've lived the way a CFer does with their breath falling away for 30 years.
I don't know where this comment is going so I'll just say thank you!