The Placebo Effect or Mr. Miyagi: Good Enough for Me

Tonight I had some wonderful Reiki from a wonderful nurse I know and adore. I am also now sleepy and relaxed and rested. And so is my kittttty.

I will write about this better tomorrow, this crystal wearing hippy is sleepy.

Peace in, fear out.
Wax on, wax off.
Daniel-san, Cystic-gal.

:)

Goodnight, CG

In Defense of Alone Time

So right now I'm gettin so busy during day with the exercisin and the medicatin and the nappin and the eatin and the paper workin and the plannin and the bill payin and the phone callin and the emailin and the cats . . .

that I am not the bloggy that I used to be.

But I do have some good blog post titles building up in my and so here one is right here:

In Defense of Alone Time .

I am alone and awakey-wakey-no-mistakey . . . probably right now . . . about 10 hours of the 24 in a day.

Thus, an equation:
24 hours in a day
-9 hours sleepin at nighto
-3 hours at a doc appointment (travel incl)
-2 hours of visitor palsy walsies
---
10 hours of Cystic Gal Activity

Of this I spend time doing all that stuff up there, described as:

"the exercisin and the medicatin and the nappin and the eatin and the paper workin and the plannin and the bill payin and the phone callin and the emailin and the cats . . ."

Thus, a second, funnier equation:

10 hours awakey in a day
-1.5 hours exercising (cardio, yoga)
-2 hours medicatin (nebs, airway clearance, etc)
-2 hours nappin (if I'm good and get up)
-1.5 hours eatin (3-5 meals, yum)
-1 various tx related "get your papers in order" business
-1 neurotic worries over life/death
-1 phone calls I accept begrudgingly
-1 emailin' I accept lovingly
-all remaining time for cats.
---------------------------------
As you can see, cats aside, I have -1 hour to spend with myself.

No wonder I miss me so very very much.

Also, I offer you THIS ARTICLE in defense of my alone time and yours. The people here aren't even facing particular troubles and they get their alone time. Yay them!!

Don't you miss you?

Namaste: just the news

I am so very tired tonight so I will not write a long post. But I wanted to share some news. It looks like most of my transplant eval will be done 10/21. Woah holy poo that's soon.

I did some wicked good yoga and though I don't have the energy to write a long ass post about how good it is for me, I wanted to tell you that I have been doing yoga since the age of 16, and though I cannot say that I did it every single day since then, I can say that I practice yoga movements and breathing techniques in my artistic theatre work, and it's safe to say that yoga has definitely been part of me staying well for the past 5-6 years with severe lung disease. Tonight, I was able to turn my oxygen down 1.5 liters from where it was prior to my yoga session.

Also- it's good for the mind.

I have this idea to write a book called "Get Welliquette."

I also want to write two other books.

I also want to go to bed. Love, CG

To Pique Your Interest, Cystic Lady Quoted Below

I decided to share with you one of my sister's blog posts about "Project Cruise Hotness," so that you can be prepared for her also-quirky writings. This is the final posting in a long series of writings that we both did related to Hotness, and the pursuit thereof, for our international travels:

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

What We Learned On Our Cruise Part II

1) I do look like trouble, and Beth looks like an angel. Also, little old ladies can be mean to me, and they don't like my cowboy hat. Men do like my cowboy hat. I think the little old ladies are jealous.

2) Only Beth gets compliments like "Princess", "Lovely Lady", etc. Then they say something to her like, "oh looks like you brought trouble back for dinner" (referring to me). I have not yet decided what to make of this, but I can tell you it has been going on our whole lives.

3) I already had a theory that two breakfasts were needed to sustain my troublesome activities. The cruise proved that theory. We need a warm-up breakfast, second breakfast, and to be planning the next day's two breakfasts at all times.

4) The only thing that Beth does in her sleep is kick people. She's always done that. I am able to lots of things, as I have way more practice being productive while also sleeping. Warning: If you plan to get heat stoke and you think my sleep walking butt will save you, you are wrong. I will probably just growl at you like a mean bear.

5) Asian women who give massages on cruises are appalled at the lack of water in my diet. They do not feel that a diet of breakfast and Mountain Dew is adequate.

6) I still regret teaching Beth about roulette. She spanked me the second night and I had no money left. I think I should have taken her to the Unicorn game.

7) When your little sister looks really cute and wants to play the Unicorn slot machine even though it's total bogus, do not do it. I think it was really just a ploy to eat up the 300% winnings I had after my first night at roulette.

8) Seeing cruise commercials about the Yellow Bird boat inspires you to make videos about how you've never drank so much rum punch in your whole life. The video also makes you think lots of drunk baby boomers are riding the Yellow Bird boat and dancing like Elaine Benes. That has some potential. Then, while waiting for your wonderful beach getaway, you see that the real Yellow Bird occupants are really drunk men with hairy bellies with balloon animals shaped like penises on their heads. I think the Yellow Bird boat is a bad idea, personally.

9) A rum cake is indeed covered completely and soaked in rum. It is also air packaged so tight that you might injure yourself while attempting to open the package. Let this be a warning to you.

10) It was very tempting to see how long Beth and I could live on the Nassau beach. But, we felt bad for the sting rays and I think we would have freed them. Sting Rays don't want people touching them!

11) Spring Breakers and Cougars by the pool are not a good combination. We definitely saw a lot of butts, or maybe we just saw a couple and that was enough.

12) Sometimes there will be a belly flop competition. It is run by the cruise director and a gay guy. I'm still not sure how the winner of the belly flop competition fits into his room, or his bathroom. He must have had a bigger room than we did.

13) Cougars on cruises with lots of bling are very strange indeed. They seemed to be seeking eligible males. If there had been any eligible males, Beth and I would have snatched them up. Bling or no.

14) I wish the cruise would have been a couple nights longer so we could properly investigate the two families we thought were polygamists. Who wants to wear those Little House on the Prairie dresses on a cruise ship?

15) When borrowing a suitcase from your parents for your cruise, search all of the pockets carefully, so that upon re-entry to the country you are not accused of trying to smuggle in coffee.

16) We noticed that a number of younger couples frequently looked kinda miserable on their cruise. The older couples looked very happy. This is because by the time you are an old couple, you know better than to attempt to make your wife sit indoors at a cruise ship bar and watch basketball, for instance.

The biggest lesson, always take a cruise with your sister. Take one every year. It's the best!

Posted by Teeda

More on Dragons

I am up late and it's a whole new post date now. A few weeks ago Mary from "Peter, Paul and Mary" died. This leaves me thinking about dragons again and how I was on this whole mission to figure out why CFers are not dragon slayers, but dragons themselves. If this seems out of context, new readers, this was a topic earlier in the CG blog world.

Perhaps I will get another dragon poem out of it.

Dragons are noble and courageous and brave.
Dragons have a mighty roar and a fierce fire inside
Dragons are strong strong stronger than the will of any mortal man
"Dragons live forever, and not so little boys."
Dragons feel deeply, live boldly, and live their very public adventures in a very isolated way. There are not big packs of dragons. Yet every time a dragon flies through the sky, there it is, a dragon. A dragon to look at and admire but only one or two befriend.

Tonight I am thinking a lot about how to begin to summon my inner dragon with more ferociousness. I will need to be more noble and courageous than I am right now.

I will need to have a fiercer fire.

I will need to be stronger than mortality.

I could live forever. Maybe.

Love, CG

More poetry posts this week. 2 are percolating.

Introducing Guest Blogger Cystic Lady!

"PS - i adore the 20 second videos of you
and [Cystic Lady]
i've never met the girl, but i can tell she rules."
-Actual comment on facebook today.

Cystic Lady, March 2009, in pursuit of Cruise Hotness.

I have added a guest blogger who you already e-know and e-love, Cystic Lady! Cystic Lady hails from the original Cystic Family of Cystic Gal, Cystic Mommy, Cystic Dad of recent CG commentary and Cystic Sibling who goes mostly anonymous on blog thus far. (He is mysteriousemente, that Cystic Sibling I love!). [If you struggled to pronounce mysteriousemente, try it again in a Spanish accent).

Cystic Lady and Cystic Gal teamed up earlier this year to write the much-acclaimed and forwarded Facebook Notes, "Project Cruise Hotness," of which we have not yet written the final chapter. Perhaps we will publish "Project Post Transplant Hotness" in 2010. Oh to be a Cystic^ Sister!

Cystic Lady is in her thirties, w/CF, CFRD, and approximately 6 years post-transplant. The rest of her story is up to her to tell. She has gotten her most recent bloggy start HERE, but she has agreed to contribute directly to CG for awhile, while I'm undergoing my shiizzzle. Don't worry, I'll still be contributing, like, all the time.

Let's give a big CG welcome to . . .

Cystic Lady!

Looking for "poems about boobs."

This Week's
Hilarious Statcounter Update!

The top search term used to locate CG this week - ON TWO DIFFERENT DAYS: "poems about boobs."

See evidence below. Also, apparently I am still confusing googlers worldwide who are seeking information on Florence Nightingale. Tee hee.

	Date	Time	Name	Query	Landing Page
	Oct 6	05:16:31 PM	www.google.com	poems about boobs	2009/08/poem-from-hospital.html
	Oct 6	09:42:16 AM	www.google.be	"my underwear drawer"	2009/09/my-underwear-drawer-fair-representation.html
	Oct 6	09:16:21 AM	www.google.com	cystic gal blogspot	http://cysticgal.blogspot.com/
	Oct 6	09:11:18 AM	www.google.com	cystic gal blogspot	http://cysticgal.blogspot.com/
	Oct 6	09:09:06 AM	www.google.com	cysticgal	http://cysticgal.blogspot.com/
	Oct 5	11:10:43 PM	www.google.ca	florence nightingale syndrome	2009/07/florence-nightingale-syndrome-what-can.html
	Oct 5	09:59:21 PM	www.google.com	A good day, aint got no rain. A bad day is when I sit in bed and think of things that might have bee	2009/07/good-day-aint-got-no-rain.html
	Oct 5	09:50:43 PM	www.google.com	cystic gal	http://cysticgal.blogspot.com/
	Oct 4	09:07:14 PM	www.google.com	poems about boobs	2009/08/poem-from-hospital.html
	Oct 4	01:28:00 AM	www.google.com	current health updates	2009/09/current-situtaion-heres-sitch.html

A slice of life with CG and CL (CysticLady)

It's a-Happenin'!

Today was my initial transplant evaluation meeting and we got the ball rollin'! CysticLady was here for me, and we talked all about my big careteam of CysticMommy, T-Money, and others!

We are exhausted and must go to bed.

My cats are awesome.

Love, CG

Metaphor du Jour.

Living with CF is like trying to ride your bike home before a thunderstorm.

The rest of the metaphor's explanation is cheesy.
So I'm gonna leave it at that.

I have a big doc appt tomorrow and CysticLady is coming to visit too, and I still have to do my 2nd Tobi and then go nn.

So, g'night.

Read Ronnie's blog tonight and answer a CF Gramma question. (You can find his blog on my right hand column, "RunSickBoyRun."

gn,
CG

Tell You What It Means To Me

Respect. This must be the central focus in discussions of faith. Respect for differences. Respect for history. Respect for emotions.

A few days ago I received a correspondence about faith that put me in a tailspin. I don't want to discuss it too much here because of some privacy issues, but I was all a-mess over this. I was angry, then I was sad, then I felt bad for the other person, then I was just confused. Then I talked to my friend Lucy^. She pointed out that basically, I was feeling disrespected.

As a Catholic. As a new-age-crystal-wearing-hippy-type. As a descendant of Native Americans. As a woman. As an adult. As a politically liberal American. Etc. And yes, I realize that some of those labels don't seem to belong on the same name tag. So be it.

I realized, that this is the line I was trying to articulate in my earlier post, An Open Letter To God, where I discussed my negative feelings toward some expressions of faith. These are the expressions of faith that upset me, as a currently-ill person preparing for transplant:

It upsets me if people talk to me about Christianity as though I'm not a Christian. My first name is Mary. What are the chances that I haven't heard about Jesus? I mean, seriously.

It upsets me if people accuse me of not praying enough over my health. I am not sick because of a lack of prayer. I will not get "better" because of increased attention to prayer. If I succumb to illness, it will not be because I did not pray. It will be because I have Cystic Fibrosis. I always want to say, "Oh! Prayer! I have been meaning to look into that!"

It upsets me if people presume to speak to God for me. People can speak to their God about me, sure - have at it. The only person who can speak to God for me, is me. And perhaps a few other people. Is it you?

It upsets me if people assume that an open discussion of faith requires one person to adopt the other person's beliefs by the end of the conversation. I believe much can be learned by just putting ideas on the table, and looking at them. Look at your belief- over there. Look at mine- over here. Look at that other belief over there - what does it all mean? I believe in asking questions of one another, not shouting answers. Hey look, it's a gummy bear. What does a gummy bear MEAN?

It upsets me if people assume that a question of faith indicates a lack of faith. Sometimes, it's just a question. I have a garbage disposal that I use daily. I believe that it works. Sometimes I wonder, where does the food go? But I still believe that the garbage disposal works. This was the least-offensive metaphor I could come up with, believe it or not.

It upsets me when, unprompted, every single person takes the news of transplant as an invitation into a gigantic spiritual conversation. I'm totally fine with it with family and friends, but I feel like 90% of the people I interact with go right for the deep talk, regardless of our prior relationship. I am tempted to be like, "POP QUIZ: What's my last name? (Gal) Am I married or single? (Single) Straight or gay? (Straight) What do I teach?" (Drama) For example, at times when this has occurred.

That being said, I LOVE THE COMMENTS THAT HAVE BEEN WRITTEN ON MY POSTS SO FAR! AWESOME. KEEP 'EM COMING and a big SHOUT OUT to CYSTICDAD who chimed in! Yay!

That's all for tonight. I'm tired. Doc tomorrow. Low oxygen today. Must sleep well.

PS. Ronnie and I are still in a blogmance.
PPS. Thanks so much to everyone who donated to Unleash Your Story.
PPPS. Gummy bears.

CG

You Owe Me Money!

It's the final night of the "Unleash Your Story" campaign for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. I have had a good run here! At the offset, I hoped to raise $1000 for CF. I am a bit shy of that goal. I asked my avid readers to donate $2 for every quality post that I wrote put up in September. By my calculations.... If you are reading this...you owe me... 16 quality posts times 2 dollars per post = 32 DOLLARS! I only need 5 people to donate $32 to make my goal! Too steep? I only need 8 people to donate $20 to make my goal! Still too much? I only need 15 people to donate $10 to make my goal! Feelin' super broke? 5 DOLLARS. You can give up a latte or a beer in the name of my CFF campaign. If 29 random CG readers donate $5 by clicking HERE, or by pledging to me and then mailing a check to the CFF, I will make my goal!! I have to make my goal, people!!! Have I mentioned I'm getting ready for transplant!? You have to keep my hope alive, people! Don't let a sick girl down!!!! Boohoooo, I'm crying just thinking of not making my goal!! Oh, I - can't - breathe I'm crying so ha---arr----rrdd! Pretty good, heh? I told you I'm a drama teacher. In all seriousness, please donate today. Help the CF Foundation move forward with life-saving research, patient education, and advocacy initiatives that help the CF community, everyday. See my initial appeal letter, below. Love, CG PS. Just click HERE to donate. *

Randomling (A Poetry Post)

Skinny Silver Time

[This poest has been deleted because it is included in my chapbook, "Into the East."]

The People Want What They Want: Lighten Up Already!

When you're feeling blue. Down in the dumps. Cranky Face Magoo.
There is only one thing to do:

DANCE!

And if the first time doesn't work . . .

DANCE AGAIN!
NOTE: The second take is easily 1.5 million times funnier / more embarrassing
than the first for at least 5 reasons.

Read tomorrow to find out what the 5 reasons are!

Tomorrow, I promise to follow up on all posts of recent!
For tonight, Just dance,
Love, CG

An Open Letter To God

Dear God,

How are you? I am fine. Just kidding.

I decided to write to you tonight instead of talk to you so that I can pin down a few issues that I am dealing with this week, and particularly today. So, on with the normal order of things: First,

Thank you for all of the talks and visits with my friends and family today. Thank you for my party last night. Thank your for my creative thinking today and for the tons of mental energy I had even though I felt physically tired today. Thank you for the phone. Thank you for my cats. Thank you for providing me the means to create financial stability for myself at this trying time. Thank you for so many other things I can't think to type right now. Thank you for my blog and for all the people that read it and find it at all thought-provoking, comforting, funny, or clarifying even if they disagree. Thanks for my fast typing speed. And on and on.

Second,

I am sorry that I had some negative thoughts and feelings today toward myself and others. I am sorry that I am not always an honest person. I am sorry that . . . hmm really that's it on my mind right now.

Third,

Perhaps you read my earlier post, you know, in your websurfing, and saw that I have this nagging question about heaven. I keep coming back to it, What about heaven? Not in a desire to go to heaven early, per se. I am not suicidal. I just am comforted by the idea of heaven, and want you to know that I have heaven on my mind a lot, and could use some guidance in my thought process re: heaven. I thank you for creating heaven and for overseeing it and for fielding my question among the billions you must get re: heaven.

The other thing I'm dealing with today is -- I am interested in this discussion of faith that comes up surrounding health, transplant, etc. However, in my interest in this discussion, I also have a really negative reaction to certain offers of faith. It seems that people think if I am talking about faith, it must mean that I have none - which of course I have a great deal of faith. Or people think that if I am talking without decisiveness about religion it must mean that I have no religion - which of course I have too many religions. I want to keep allowing the conversation to happen around me, but I also want to contain it. I struggle with this issue.

Because I am sick, it does not mean that someone else's religion will make be "better." I am not sick because I didn't follow someone else's religious decree. What is the best way to respond to people that step over the line from conversation about religion and faith to instructing of how my illness is created by a lack of their faith?

God, this is a definite "what would jesus do" type of question. I mean, seriously. What would he do? Perhaps he would say, "I thank you for your prayers," and ignore the rest of it? I don't know. I think there is an opportunity to say, "Thank you for praying for me, but I want you to know that I'm not sick because of "sin" and I already do believe in God." I mean . . .

Well you get what I mean. What do you think, big G?

And finally,

Thank you for tomorrow.
May the light within you, shine within me, and the light within me shine without. (C)MEP
CG

Best Resource Yet!

I am going to start recommending patient resources on CysticGal. The first one is below:


The single best resource I have come upon so far is the book Sick Girl Speaks! by Tiffany Christensen. This is a book written by a fabulous cystic gal who had two double-lung transplant surgeries -that's right, two different transplants of two different lungs at a time. 6 lungs in her body over the course of her life.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn about chronic illness as it is experienced from a patient perspective. I recommend it to my own friends and family who are trying to understand what I am going through right now. Tiffany and I happen to share a lot of the same views (not all, but a lot), and I find myself in the pages of this book over and over again.

You can find more info on the book at Tiffany's website, http://www.sickgirlspeaks.com/ .

If I Were a Blogger, I'd Blog In the Mor-or-ning, I'd Blog In the Eeeeeev-ening, All Over This Blo-og

AFTER NOTE: This is a pretty random post dealing with both large and small issues. I decided to go ahead and post it in its as-written form so that I get it out there by the deadline of midnight. I may choose to edit it after...
Love, CG

Tonight will certainly be a stream of consciousness post because tonight I am laying lieing lying on my couch with my feet literally up
put your feet up
style and the computer is on my lap
the thing i do enjoy about writing s-o-c on the computer and not by hand is that i seem to be more decisive about line breaks
like that one
there
no that one
okay today was a good day except that i was fucking tired all day had a headache and a sore chest and also sometimes my head hurt but my oxygen was better than yesterday cuz i checked it every hour on the hour even once in the middle of a nap which means i must'nt've been asleep for reals.
i love my cats and it was a big moment for me when i realized well of course i should get a transplant if i don't get one and i just don't get one and all that entails after that avoiding the d word that begins with
d
i
e
if i don't get a transplant then who would feed my little cat?
pause squeeze squeeze drip drip more medicine into my little medicine bong
i like to make street drug references when i talked about my med drugs because then it seems funny hip and sixties or something
smoking the tobra bong.
ha.
so now everyone is reading my blog parents friends coworkers lovers random cysters and fibros and not just cgals, and i am so glad and yet there is the pressure. i love the pressure, what am i talking about. i like that i have an audience though the face of this audience in changing. by face, i mean, IP. we are our IP addresses.
when i was in high school i had a friend, S-Oteric, and he wrote lots of poems. most of them i think were plagiarized or at least i thought that then because they were so good and he was so young and otherwise thoughtless. or thoughtful. i wonder what happened to him. anyway, now that the internet is what it is i have come to believe that he really wrote these poems since they don't really seem to exist anywhere else
on the interwebs
and one of them he said was about me and there were a few lines in it that stuck with me that i think of when i'm doing drugs like this
"it's a chemical world now baby." was one of them
"i am not a prophet, anymore." was another. or was it angel? was it that i wasn't an angel anymore? anyway. I wasn't [some certain sort of special holy something] anymore.
I wonder if that will happen to me one of these days here. I'll be like
sorry guys i gots nothing to say no more
not that i think i'm an angel now. as i certainly do not. and am not.
I once had a lover that said I was an angel. I believed him, I think, for a time. Then we he left me I thought he must have been lieing about that but then now sometimes I think maybe he wasn't lieing and he just was leaving. Hmm. something to think about there.
I've been having a lot of private correspondence of late with people on THE LIST, the transplant list, the tx list and the question of spirituality keeps getting kicked around, and I think about things and I write about things, and I know what I believe.
I believe in God and heaven and most of the basic parts of what one/i/some call the "old church" of catholicism, the mysteries of faith and blah blah. I believe in the spiritual religeous part - and don't pay any attention to the policitical parts and by that i mean anything added after the initial formation of the church.

so anyways i believe in God
Jesus
Mary
the mystery of faith
the holy spirit
angels
a line between the living and the dead /ghosts and spirit world
Heaven
reincarnation at times
the soul dwelling within the body physically leaving the body to enter heaven
energy residing in the cells of living and nonliving matter i.e. cellular memory
fate

i believe that if i were to be given new lungs they would be the greatest gift from someone else and their family to me, they would be giving me life. i should receive this gift, if it is given to me.

but part of me still says, but what about heaven? what message does that send god about me and heaven? i believe that if i live a good life, and try to be righteous and responsible and promote good in the world through small acts, i will be welcomed into heaven. so if i'ms spending life preparing for heaven, and my life is nearing it's close (whatever time line that is)- shouldn't i be ready to go to heaven? by getting a transplant, does that imply that I don't want to go to heaven?

I'm just saying I don't want to avoid heaven if that's my only shot at going!

Does that sound dumb.
Perhaps.
I don't care.
I'm leaving it there.

I keep coming back to this basic question that is hard to articulate and certainly not explained well there at all. In my head, the question is simply:

What about heaven?

Love, CG

Stream of Consciouness (Weekly Break From Overly Cerebral Posts...)

Quick updates. Today was certainly not as good of a day as yesterday. I was diggity dog tired most of the day. I slept a little later than I meant to (til 9), and ate a good breakfast, was sluggish through my morning meds and routine, and still felt poodidddly doo most of the day. Very very tired. Though I checked my O2 and heartrate and bp this morning, I was tooling around the house feeling very tired, and very clammy (many many hot flashes from the lupron at this particular week.) Around 2PM, yes, 2PM, I checked my oxygen, and though I was wearing 1.5L, my O2 was 83! Well no kidding I felt like poo. I was poo! So, I turned up the juice.

Having low oxygen creep up on you is such a menace. Like having bad blood sugar - you feel like crap just enough to know that you feel like crap, but that crappy feeling keeps you from having logical thoughts like "maybe I oughtta check my sugar," or "maybe my 02 is low?" Instead you lay around for a few hours wondering, vaguely, what might be wrong.

Also the POTpill didn't help. But I gained 3 lbs this week. No diggity. No doubt.

I blame this low 02 on my awesome workout yesterday. I must've made me some muscle mass :)

Tonight, I was happy to see that Jackie Warner's workouts are back on OnDemand for free :) !! I did the 1-on-1 core workout and it was awesome! During the workout I started to fantasize about Jackie coming to Boston to do rehab with me and turn me into a hot rockin new lung havin dancing diva. This resulting in the following tweet:

CysticGal@Jackiewarner10 i love your workouts. i have #cysticfibrosis and am preparing for transplant. i want you to come do rehab with me!less than 20 seconds ago from web in reply to Jackiewarner10

Then, I watched grey's anatomy with one of my besties, C-Daddy. He baked cookies, I ate two pudding cups, and then we watched the show while eating cookies, pudding cups and ice cream. The POTpill definetly helps with that calorie consumption! Grey's was pretty good but resulted in this tweet:

CysticGalon grey's tonight george o'malley died, donated lungs to patient with #cysticfibrosis. (fictional). Hard to watch with my pal, but good 2 c.

Poor C-Daddy and I both got all misty eyed and cried because well, there is a lot to to think about there.

Hmm. This post is not nearly so much stream o consciousness as I would like. It's more like stream o hello kitty diary.

Oh wells,
Goodnight, I'm gonna watch The Office and eat yet another pudding cup. I friggin love those pudding cups.

And don't you worry, DancingGal is coming!! I promise.
CG

Hilarious CG Development on Statcounter

9% of CysticGal readers today found my site by googling "there once was a gal poems." Someone else, was looking for "I'm ok you're ok"- perhaps my site was useful (??). Yet, someone else was looking for Florence Nightingale but entered "florence night gal." I am sure my post helped this person. :)

Tonight's real post is below! Please read IT.

Goodnight, CG

		Perc.	Search Term
		36.36%	cysticgal.blogspot.com
		18.18%	cystic gal
		9.09%	the once was a gal poems
		9.09%	CFers wearing oxygen
		9.09%	cysticgal
		9.09%	"I'm ok you're ok" blogspot
		9.09%	florence night gal
		100.00%

Why I Write the Blog the Way I Write the Blog

STATCOUNTER REPORT THIS WEEK:

	Mon	Tues	Wed	Thur	Fri	Sat	Sun	Total	Avg
Pageloads	51	72	72	111	30	47	44	427	61
Unique Visitors	40	40	46	70	27	38	30	291	42
First Time Visitors	18	15	22	46	8	22	15	146	21
Returning Visitors	22	25	24	24	19	16	15	145	21

YAY READERSHIP! So many new of you this week!

AND- Congrats to the "Unleash Your Story"
Team Cystic Gal!
We were the NUMBER ONE EARNING TEAM THIS WEEK!

If you haven't donated to "Unleash Your Story" to help fight Cystic Fibrosis, you can do so by clicking HERE . Every dollar counts, so consider donating today!

Okay, today was a big day. I got a wonderful email that helped clarify my truest motivation in writing this daily blog and letting whatever comes out, come out:

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Hey there,

[...] Anyway, word on the bloggy street is that you're starting the transplant process? I'd love to chat with you about it, although I'm sure as the sister of a post-transplant CFer you could probably fill up multiple books with everything I still don't know about the whole thing. I'm definitely learning as I go here, which I guess is what all of us do with this disease, seeing as it never seems to strike the same way twice. I have to say, though, that I read your recent transplant post and found it beautifully powerful -- I empathize so much with your sense of things moving faster than expected (this time last year I was told I was "too healthy" for transplant and probably had another 2 years or so before I needed to be listed, now they're discussing listing me at multiple centers to move the process along), but more than that I just can't stop wondering how this CF fits in with the "rest" of me, which has always been and still is for the most part extremely active and, well, healthy? At any rate, whether I'm projecting or not, I loved what you wrote and how you wrote it. There's so much about this whole mess that is difficult to express and put into words -- it's fun to come across someone so eloquent and accessible about it all. [...]

Hope you're doing well aside from dealing with all this shit right now. And, by the way, I totally swear by Bare Minerals makeup too, which has to say something about great cystic minds thinking alike!

Take care,
[...]
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I write the blog because I think that I have something to say that other people want to say, but have trouble saying. I write the blog because I think best by writing. I don't know what I think about something, sometimes, unless I write about it. So why not share that writing?

Okay. AND today I kicked some serious aaaaasssss at exercise and walked 1.3 miles in 30 minutes at a max of 3.2mph. I was hoping sweating that much would decrease my hot flashes, but so far, it has not. I am like Delta Burke up in here.

I think that is all.

Today I got the idea to post a video of my dancing around my house, since that is one thing that I do to stay fit and be in a good mood. What do you think? To post or not to post? This could be my project for tomorrow.

Goodnight from your sweaty, tired CG.