Monday, September 21, 2009

Ten Beauty Secrets of Cystic Gal

Tonight in an attempt to keep it light here on CG, I will answer a question that I literally get all of the time, "How come you look so healthy?"

Now, of course I was blessed with natural beauty by my CysticMommy, and also schooled in a variety of beauty-upkeep-related funlings by CysticLady. So, they get a lot of credit here. I mean, genetics can't screw you every time. But here are ten beauty secrets I have long-utilized to keep my Cystic Sexy Ways.

1. Bare Minerals makeup. It is every bit as good as those infomercials. This makeup completely changes how I look. My friends do not believe me, they think I don't wear that much makeup. But if I don't wear this makeup for even one day, there is 100% guarantee that a co-worker, friend, family member or acquaintance will accuse me of feeling like shit. I have literally done a sales pitch for these Bare Minerals people at Sephora because I'm such a crazy believer. Try it.

2. Abs and Buns of Steel videos from the 80s. These videos are KEY to keeping strong ab and ass muscles despite your possible lack of muscle mass from CF. The videos are hilarious. The unitards are striped. The women are wearing pantyhose. Check into it.

3. Almay Under Eye Concealer Color WHITE. I put this concealer on very liberally under my eye, but also over my eyelid and in the corner of my eye. I blend it out and then apply makeup over it. It completely covers a multitude of sins.

4. General attention to my eyebrows, waxing and otherwise, not only because I've been told they are very animated, but to open up my eyes so I look so alive ;) Similarly, I curl my eyelashes.

5. Jackie Warner download workouts are completed whenever possible. Similar to those Buns of Steel videos above, Jackie's workout will get done what needs to get done without burning too many cardio calories outside of your cardio workout.

6. I used to tan. If I couldn't tan, I would wear bronzer on my cheeks and nose. This makes me look like I have "a little color." Little known fact: I have no color. Similarly, I always wear a pink-based lipstick. Even though I don't apply it a single time after I leave the house (my beauty upkeep ends at the bathroom door), this gives my lips a "health glow." Little known fact: I have no healthy glow.

7. Oil of Olay Cooling Eye Gel. It cools the bags that would be under my eyes if, say, I didn't use it.

8. Home Remedy Alert: I give myself a mask with a mix of lotion and coarse salt about once a week. I let the lotiony salty mix stay on my skin until it dries and then I rinse the salt off. I must've read this in a magazine when I was like 12. I've been doing it ever since and it helps dry out my face and exfoliate it so my face is as soft as a baby's butt. Little known fact: otherwise my face would be greasy and/or dry. This is particularly helpful when doing IVs that really mess with your face!!

9. I drink gatorade like I own the company. At a rehearsal, I'll drink an entire bottle of gatorade before we even warm up. I make sure to drink another bottle during rehearsal. Staying hydrating keep up the facade of my ever present energy.

10. The best secret a Cystic Gal can give another cystic gal: You are gorgeous no matter what and there is a 99% chance that none of these tips work whatsoever. Though I do really do all of them. And that's not just truthy. That's true!

Love, CG


  1. Good Stuff! I do love Bare minerals and I use the "faux tan" powder when I want to glow. But I must say (as a former cosmetics saleswomen at Filene's) that using white on under eye circles can minimize their appearance, but sometimes the effect may appear grayish. You may end up using more natural color foundation to off set. cut and paste from "ehow" but this is what I remember from the 'ol days when we sold GREEN powder (to neutralize redness).

    When covering dark circles, the general rule to remember is that opposing colors neutralize each other.

    Yellow, bisque or ochre colored under eye concealers counteract the purple or blue-looking dark circles that are most commonly visible on average skin tones.

    Peach under eye concealer neutralizes the purple hue of dark circles associated with golden, tan or olive skin tones.

    Caramel, dark coral or soft burnt orange under eye concealers are best for deeply tanned women or women of color that have bluish under eye circles.

    Smoky terra-cotta or an almost reddish shade of under eye concealer is helpful for neutralizing greenish dark under eye circles. This color family also works well for very dark skin tones.

    Girls just wanna dress up!


  2. Way to playah hate on my beauty tips. JK. It's white for me. I don't have any yellow, orange, red undertones in the skin to speak off. It's just white and blue in this house. :) cg


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